This was a piece inspired by a photograph I saw, unfortunately not one I can post on this site due to copyright, but I hope you all enjoy my moment of creativity.
The Man on the Pier.
It was not the loss that was the hardest to understand, it was the reasoning
behind it. People kept telling him that it would get easier, things would make
sense again, but, standing there looking into the waves, happiness seemed a
million miles away. There seemed only one answer. It could all be so easy. So
easy, to end it all, to stop the pain and the misery.
Worse than the misery he was in, was the misery he was causing others by just being there, by just being around people. Since the loss of Eliza, he found it hard to smile and
laugh. There was this oppressive black cloud hanging over him, one that he could
not shake. He wanted to laugh and smile with the others, but it was like a
couple of lead weights hung onto these emotions, weighing them down.
He looked down into the ocean, feeling the sea breeze, and smelling the salt and
seaweed on the air, one last time. Then with one final heaving sob, he stepped
off the end of the jetty, and let the icy ocean engulf him, watching the blue
green Ice water close over his head. Feeling the air compress out of his lungs,
and allowing the blackness to encase him.
So this is what it feels like? This is what people can’t predict, what nobody yet knows or understands? It is hard to explain what happens, it is like a red net curtain falls, followed by a black velvet one; only it isn’t black, it is more than black, it is darker than
black. You can’t feel or touch it, but you know that if you could it would be
soft and warm, but unlike any softness or warmth you have ever felt
Beyond this curtain is a yawning black chasm, stretching into vast
nothingness, and whilst you are balancing on the edge of infinity, reality
wavers like a flame searching for oxygen, before it flickers and expires, and
infinity embraces you, and the sense of falling is overwhelming, but it does not
come with fear, it comes with peace and calm.
The sensations that follow are those of belief and final understanding, the answers come all at once, like a flock of pigeons after a scrap of bread that has been tossed to its fate. The feelings that envelop you are sense and belonging; this is where you have been heading, this is where you have always meant to be, you suddenly realise that
death always has been inevitable, and it always was rushing towards you like a
high speed train, and sooner or later it was bound to stop at your station –
delays can only last so long.